A Shadow
by Rosette-Cullen
Summary: Based on the poem "A Shadow" by Otep Shamaya. Bella is transferred from one institution to another. Within the walls a leader rises in Edward, seeking a palace for his queen. AH, OOC, Mature themes. Happy birthday, Otep. Entry for the Mentleward contest.


**A/N: I'm a bit late, but I had intended for this to be a contest entry, unfortunately it did not meet the criteria and cannot be entered. Thank you to the Mentalward contest for picking this up as an entry for your contest. :)**

**Regardless, this is for my idol, hero, role model, personal Goddess and muse.**

**I know your birthday was Novemeber 7th, but happy birthday Otep Shamaya. Even if you never see this you've done more in song, lyric and voice than a lifetime could do for me.**

**Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: _A Shadow_ belongs to Otep Shamaya, copyrighted and published by LuLu. Twilight, of course, does not belong to me.**

**Warning: There are some adult themes including experimental homosexuality (briefly) and murder.**

* * *

****

**"Mentalward" Contest**

**Pen Name**: Rosette-Cullen**  
Title**: A Shadow  
**Summary**: Based on the poem "A Shadow" by Otep Shamaya. Bella is transferred from one institution to another. Within the walls a leader rises in Edward, seeking a palace for his queen. AH, OOC, Mature themes. Happy birthday, Otep. Entry for the Mentleward contest.  
**Word Count**: 5,245

* * *

**A SHADOW  
**  
I can feel it  
behind my left eye  
A thickening  
A shadow a presence  
An obsession  
With finally feeling loved  
For finally feeling pretty  
For 10 days & 2 phone calls

In a lovely asylum  
A week by coach  
Coagulating in assembly  
Sharing experience  
Religious  
Rebellious  
Inspected  
Resurrected  
& smiling  
As the summer slept

* * *

She was wrapped in a snow white petticoat with embroidered numbers on the sleeves which were wrapped around her back and tucked into the belt over her waist. The buckles were fine silver with strong hooks to keep them secure. No amount of struggling or damage could break them, the patients knew that well.

Isabella Swan knew this, but she had never tried it out firsthand. On her first night in the old hospital a man with patches of hair threw himself against a wall over and over until he died from exertion and blood loss. She remembered clearly the sound of metal slamming and grating against the cement walls. And she could see the slim line of pink that stained the floors the morning after. That day the guard with blonde curls and nice teeth smiled and stroked her hair.

The hospital had been shut down because they let patients do things that weren't morally conscious. She partook in one of those indulgences. Isabella stole a fruit cup from an elderly woman when she left her tray unguarded to receive medication.

The new hospital was supposed to have medical advances; patients wouldn't die from simple bacterial colds that turned into staph infections anymore. She was happy about that, the vomit smell never left in the winter.

Fall leaves littered the ground in varying shades of orange and yellow. She watched crows gather on branches and join together in a quartette. They sang her a song of farewell and she nodded her head ado. The summer had gone to sleep, the trees shed their leafy tears and vines growing in mossy patches slumped forward dejectedly. The grass yellowed slightly, but she wanted to watch it turn to brown.

As the sun began to set they approached a large white castle. It was on a hill surrounded by different levels of wrought iron gating. She wasn't sure if a rhinoceros could make its way through the clever designs.

Soon enough the gentleman who rode with her escorted Isabella from the carriage and she hopped down daintily. The earth stuck to her bare feet and she was glad to be receiving new slippers. The doctors told her that they would be cotton this time, not the itchy polyester that gave her rashes and made her limp.

"Why thank you, sir," she whispered.

The man looked away, not amused in dealing with a Looney. He grabbed her by the upper arm and hauled her across the grounds. A woman met him half way to the gate and began the tedious task of unlocking the many latches. Isabella became bored by the third one and focused her eyes on the squirrels gathering nuts on the barren land. One looked up and smiled with its puffy cheeks.

"Is she the only one you're bringing by today?" the woman asked quietly. She had that nurse aura, Isabella declared, she was quiet and inoffensive.

"Yes, ma'am, we're happy to hand her over." As if to illustrate his point, the guard pushed her forward. He didn't like the small girl, she unsettled him. Her big brown eyes would look up at him at night when he came into her room and watched her pretend to sleep.

It had happened as an error, but after the first time he continued to go back. The warden felt as if he was betraying his wife and children. Now she would be somebody else's novelty sleeping item.

The woman nodded hastily and took the papers from her desk. They were easily stacked into a neat order as she guided the small, timid girl down the hallway. Another day another patient.

"How are you feeling, Isabella," the nurse asked.

"My name is Bella," she answered slowly, as if the nurse was the patient.

"Well, Bella, how are you feeling?" The nurse was unsettled but continued to move through the winding sterile hallways. She didn't like it there, but she had an ill mother to care for.

"I feel as though a nest of dragonflies has rested in my belly," Bella answered. "Maybe if I cough we can have a show."

The nurse didn't ask her anymore questions.

Bella's new room was marginally bigger. There were no windows, not even ones with bars, but the trim of the room was painted with clouds and sailboats. Bella liked it more than the view of outdoors.

"The rules and schedule are nearly identical to the hospital you previously stayed in. You will be woken up at eight, breakfast until ten and then time spent in your room until dinner at five. At seven on odd days there will be communal showering." The nurse unsnapped Bella's waist belt and quickly backed up to the door, locking it and sliding a metal plate over so they saw each other once more. "Dinner will be in two hours."

Bella sat on her bed, shimmying out of her jacket and folding it up. The pristine white offset the slightly dirtier crème of her comforter. She leaned back onto the flimsy mattress with her hair as a pillow. The ceiling had bumps in it and she just knew that by the end of the week she'd have them all accounted for.

--

The dining hall of the hospital was like the rest of the building, white, sterile and creaked with every whispered wind. The plump woman with a sweaty brow served her beans behind a protective glass screen. No one spoke as they received their food, wary of the wardens surrounding the perimeter.

A short girl muttered next to Bella and picked up a cup of pink pills, scrutinizing it and placing it down again. A blonde boy came up next to her, just being released from the male ward of the hospital. He looked jumpy as he ran his hands over the smooth metal of the serving rim. He did this several times before pulling his hands back and looking at them like they just strangled someone of their own volition.

The girl glanced at him briefly and then snapped her eyes to Bella. The girl's eyes were red and she had bags underneath them. Her brows were permanently stuck in a scowl it seemed. Bella stared back, unmoving.

"It's rude to stare," the girl said, her voice eerily low.

Bella bowed her body at the waist and placed a cup of pink pills on the girl's tray. It was a peace offering and the girl accepted it with a harrumph and snap of her fingers. Bella liked the girl and found herself leaning closer.

"Your name is Bella," she said confidently. "Before you ask questions, I'm not crazy."

"Do you see into the future?" Bella asked.

The blonde boy looked over, his achingly wide eyes fixed on her in horror as his mouth hung open. The girl's eye twitched and she shook her head. "Yes."

"Oh," Bella stated. "I used to, as well."

The girl nodded her head and pointed a finger at her chest. "Alice." The finger moved to the boy. "Jasper. He's mine so get your own."

Bella nodded and one of the wardens moved closer to give them a glare and move them. They sat at a table with wobbly wooden chairs. Bella noticed that the wood had no nails and began to think of reasons why. She could see a guard being found with Oedipus eyes, the golden pins replaced with nails.

"Why are you here?" Alice asked in a no-nonsense tone.

"Why are you?" Bella fired back.

Jasper picked up an apple and put it down, then picked up again several times before he sighed and moved to the beans. He gripped his fork tightly, rearranging his fingers a few times before he smiled slightly and dug into his beans. He did so rather quickly and then his face twisted in horror as he began to eat.

"I see the future," Alice shrugged, but her monotone voice didn't fit. "Jasper has the compulsion to do things a certain way. As you can see."

Jasper nodded sadly and looked past Bella's face. His haunting blue eyes focused on something far away that Bella would never see. She saw the strange pair as her congratulating assembly.

"My brother is here, too," Alice said. Her lifeless eyes also moved past Bella's head but stared directly at something.

A boy came up beside Bella and sat down. He looked at her and immediately put an arm around her shoulder. Bella didn't correct him, instead watching his face. He was tired, too. His green eyes didn't sparkle like a granny smith apple on a fresh morning. They fell flat like rotten grapes.

"You are rude," the boy said to Alice.

"I can be," Alice said. "But I am not rude right now. She's new, so don't be mean."

The boy's palm touched Bella's shoulder and he gripped it strongly, his fingers dug into her sensitive skin. She liked his abrasiveness and placed her hand on his knee, squeezing back in rebellion.

"Edward says he reads mind," Alice said. "I don't believe he can, though." Edward opened his mouth but Alice held up a hand. "When he was twelve he guessed all of his Christmas presents and when our mother and father said it was simple luck he guessed breakfast, lunch and dinner for the month."

"I was correct of course," Edward said smugly, but his arrogance was barely visible beyond the gaunt expression of his face.

"In being correct you were granted the visitation of this establishment," Bella said quietly. "The circus folk come around monthly, you could have easily painted your face with butterflies and flown to their company."

"As a caterpillar that growth was not yet possible," Edward answered quickly. He turned to face her, using the hand on her shoulder to turn her around. "Give me your name."

"Bella."

"This is the one?" Edward asked Alice. She nodded distractedly while feeding jasper, who had his eyes closed. His shoulders twitched but he ate much easier than before.

"You're my soul's mate," Edward said to Bella, looking directly in her eyes. "Just so you are aware."

Bella nodded and began to eat her food. Alice was absent from conversation while she took care of Jasper. Both she and Edward were concentrated on the affectionate display between the two. When Jasper had swallowed his last his bite and opened his eyes his knee began to jump up and now at a frantic rhythm.

"Why are you here?" Alice asked Bella once more.

"You tell me, fortune teller." Bella leaned back against her uncomfortable chair and Edward's hand still gripped her shoulder.

Alice waved her hand. "I don't know. Just tell me."

"My mother was accused of being a witch. I'm her spawn," Bella answered emotionlessly. "Though I may have said some things that led to my being here."

"Hmm, yes, butterflies," Edward said.

The wardens opened up the door and began to call the patients one by one. Edward and Jasper rose from their seats, Edward leaned over and kissed Bella's ear before standing up to leave.

--

Bella spent her day locked up in her windowless room with nothing but dust mites to keep company. She thought about Edward and his declaration. She thought he was strange and wasn't sure if having a mindreading lover was in her best interest.

The hours ticked off painfully slow. A new doctor came to see her, his cold hands were a representation of his expression. He took no interest in her, just checked her vitals and pressed a clammy hand to her forehead to check for fever. Once done he left and moved onto the next one.

At dinner Bella walked beside Alice, received bruises from Edward and watched Jasper. Before leaving Edward kissed her neck and his hands caressed her collarbone. Bella shivered and moved blindly to the shower room. The excitement of a new location was scarce.

The women stripped bare in a powder room and were handed a thin sheet as they walked into the room. Small faucets lined two walls on equal sides. There were no bars of soap or scrubbing items that Bella's mother had in the tub at home.

Alice stood beside Bella, her pert breasts hardened from the cool air of the room. Bella found herself following the trails of the water that beaded and slid to the tuft of hair between her legs.

Alice watched Bella in the same manor, and reached out to caress her breast gently. Bella shivered and closed her eyes briefly.

"I'm jealous of Edward," she sighed.

"You have Jasper. He's yours," Bella answered in a whisper.

Alice frowned and looked at the weak spray of water again. Bella lightly ran her hand down Alice's back and to the swell of her buttocks. She sighed and her eyes became heavy.

Alice had found herself to be different from others. She was stoic and a know-it-all at times, but she was just as confused as everyone else. Jasper provided her comfort, even with his ticks, but she had seen Bella in her mind for months now. She watched her brother's hands travel down the same expanse of skin that was soft and wet before her now. Alice wanted to touch her before he could, to have the guilt free pleasure.

The sprays turned off and the women moved in a succinct line through to the powder room once more. As Bella dried herself as Alice smoothed her hand down the front of her abdomen and played with the coarse hair of her pubic area. Bella gasped and looked around quickly. Some women touched each other without the eye of wardens; others looked on in disgust, indulging in the cross fixed into the ceiling. Some women fell to their knees in prayer.

Alice pulled her hand away and the two dressed in silence.

As they moved out, the wardens lined the halls and women walked along the opened hallway. Bella curiously looked to Alice.

"It's a free hour. Before bed we're allowed to congregate and meet with one another," Alice answered and tugged Bella to a room far from her own.

Alice's room was as big as hers, but the trim had parasols and scenic forests. Alice sat Bella on the bed and straddled her legs, playing with the wet strands of her hair.

Bella closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling. Alice's fingers rubbed soothingly against her scalp and before she knew it they were both lying down wrapped in each other's embrace.

"May I kiss you before my brother?" Alice asked quietly. Her voice sounded unsure and Bella opened her eyes in minute shock.

"Would Edward not be unhappy that his soul's mate is mating with another?" Bella fired back.

"Edward has mated with Jasper, why should we not?" Bella's eyes opened wide. "You act so shocked; did you see the others in the bath? Did you see the way they touched and hungered for each other? Do you think it's not the same for men? Even stronger?"

"I… I don't… I didn't know that Edward…" Bella sputtered.

"You don't know Edward," Alice challenged. "But he is going to give you a gift and make you a queen among everyone here. All I ask is to have you before he comes and takes you away, shows you the world where you'll have forgotten me."

"You may," Bella whispered.

Alice kissed her one, twice and then moved above her, body arched and elongated as she dove into the domain of Bella's hot kiss. Alice had been touched by Jasper, come undone by his fingers once before when they sat together eating peas and old potatoes. No one stopped them and when she was sensitive and sore Jasper had continued to touch, needing to appease his near constant urge to replicate until perfection.

Alice pulled up Bella's dress and twisted it at her midriff. Soft breasts fell from the material and Alice was fascinated with the round shape, different from her own. Bella's were larger, firmer. Her brother would touch them near constantly, she was sure of this.

Alice licked at her nipples and tasted the clean fragrance. Bella breathed heavily but did not make a sound.

"Think of Edward," Alice said. "It's a way of preparation, a gift for my dear older brother and all that he has given me."

Alice bit her nipple and her nose touched soft skin as Bella arched upward. A quiet groan left her mouth. Leaning back, Alice touched sweet thighs that guided her to a very pink clitoris, nearly crying for attention.

"Oh, how I would adore rubbing you to climax," Alice sighed. "You would look so pretty."

"Why don't you?" Bella breathed.

"It's not my place," Alice answered quietly. "Those of us who have someone may not be sated by another. Jasper has never allowed Edward to do so before him."

"It aches…" Bella whispered in agony.

Alice stroked her hair and pulled down the soft dress. A warden came in moments later to announce that Bella would need to return. Alice smiled reassuringly.

Bella left on shaky legs and fell onto her bed, imagining Edward's head between her clenching thighs.

--

The night was long and dark; Bella didn't sleep any and began to count the holes in the ceiling. She attempted to use her fingers on her private area, but remembered that she urinated from that particular point.

A clock ticked somewhere and if only she could see the time. A lock on her door clicked open and as she sprung upward, the metal slot was wide with Edward's face framed inside.

"Your highness," he whispered.

"Are you utterly insane?" Bella hissed in near silence.

Edward chuckled rather loudly. "There's no need for the quiet, Bella." He opened her door and stepped inside, sitting on the bed beside her.

Bella blanched, shock rushing through her as she thought about wardens and their clubs coming in to beat Edward. By the morning he would be no more than a pink spot on her floor.

"They'll kill you," she said in disbelief.

Edward laughed uproariously. "No my dear, I'm afraid I've already gotten to that first."

"What… what do you mean, Edward? What happened?"

Edward sighed and smiled, pushed Bella onto her back. He hovered above her, the tip of his nose barely brushing hers. "I'll give you this palace if you will say that you'll be mine," he whispered.

His hand slowly moved to her ankle as he swept her dress upward to her waist. Her flesh burned and groaned under his skin. With Alice it was passion filled sensitivity, with Edward it was all consuming everything.

"Why did you do it?" she asked him, distracted by his hand cupping her thigh and hitching it around his waist.

"When Alice told me," he whispered. "I didn't believe her. And the more I thought, the more I wanted you, the more I became anxious to see you. I wanted to give you everything I had and this is it. I have no family, belongings or property, but I have this. I have been the ruler among the populace here. It was difficult, but I managed to obtain enough to overthrow them. Jasper assisted me; together we overpowered a few men and replaced shanks with real weapons."

The idea of Edward killing someone immediately blocked itself in Bella's mind. She was good at pushing things away and she did just that, concentrating solely on the feel of his hands.

"There are at least twenty…" she whispered.

Edward's breath spread across her cheeks. He leaned forward and kissed her, long and soft. She sighed and her body rolled for him. He commandeered her with his soft hands that left a vague red trail as he moved them. He muttered and wiped them on his pants.

"Those that were left untouched we locked in a room," he muttered and groaned loudly as his hands touched her. His jaw locked and unlocked. Bella was fascinated with it. "Say you'll be with me?"

"Yes," she breathed.

Edward lifted her dress above her head and in that movement she was naked before him, writhing like a woman in need, a woman seeking the touch of a God to claim her solemn temple.

Edward wasted no time shedding his clothing. Bella looked down at the naked flesh of his groin and cocked her head. She'd never seen a naked male, between school and taking care of the household she'd never taken an interest in men.

Edward grabbed her hips, kissed her roughly and desperately, his member touched her and then it was inside her. Bella gurgled something unintelligible, but hell if Edward noticed. He threw his head back, virginal control shattering as he released on the second thrust. Bella sat back in a daze and began to count the holes in the ceiling.

--

Bella was pressed against Edward's front as his arms wrapped around her. They were on the roof watching as everyone interacted outside. Women and men let out promiscuity and Bella watched in amazement as virgins lost their purity and the disease of man took over as everyone lived without laws.

Edward controlled things well. Bella was impressed with his authority. He yelled at a man for harassing a woman, nearly forcing himself on her in the hall, as soon as the command left Edward's throat the man was gone.

The fall lasted on in crisp days and Bella learned about herself in many ways. With the attention of others she opened up, Edward led her to a realm of sexually explicit tasks. His head had been between her thighs, he prayed while there, muttering over and over, his warm breath flushing through her into sheer bliss. She had reciprocated on his encouragement and nearly vomited.

Bella managed to escape from him for a moment. She walked around the nurse's area, and in the back she heard banging, weak and unpleasant to the ear. She peered in through a metal slot and gasped in horror. The wardens that Edward had trapped away were locked forgotten in a thick storm room.

A man looked up, haggard and shaking. Two corpses were in the corner of the room, laid respectfully side by side. The smell was awful, like decayed fish and spoilt milk mixed with rotting flesh.

"Please," he whispered. It was the cold, emotionless doctor.

After five days of freedom he had been forgotten about. His emaciated form was sprawled across the floor. Bella knew Edward left him alive in case of medical need. She felt guilt pang in her chest and left.

Her steps led her to the dining hall. In the sacks and barrels of pillaged food she found some fruit and bread. She grabbed them quickly and walked back to the room. The fruit dropped to the floor with a thump and then the bread with a crisp sound. The doctor groaned and she left quickly.

As she exited Edward stood at the counter, his elbows resting against it and his bare chest illuminated by candles. His face was expressionless but Bella didn't care, she walked up, her hip bones pressing against the counter.

His hand extended and tangled in her hair as he pulled her forward for a kiss. She gasped and immediately resisted. Edward's fingers tensed and he pulled away.

His eyes were dark and he took one step back. She backtracked immediately and went around, still not coming forward. Though they may have had been made for one another, they were both hesitant. The hours of conversation and learning each other's bodies made them secure, but there was the realization that resurrection would come and they would not be together for long.

"This morning," Edward murmured. "A message came up by horseback. The Institution is supposed to send in codes to local authorities. I didn't think to look for it."

"The doctor…"

Edward shrugged that off dismissively, his recently suntanned face pale once more. Bella moved forward, wrapping her arms tentatively around his waist. He brought one hand around to small of her back and rubbed. Edward's mind went off, thinking that he would fight for her, but knowing it was a lost cause.

He would abandon ship and have others do his dirty work.

--

On the tenth day, after staring at the phone as it rang, Edward and Bella sat beside each other. The phone began to ring again.

The populace of the hospital was lined up by the front, awaiting the mob that was sure to arrive. Alice and Jasper hadn't been seen since the night Edward had taken liberties. Bella hoped they ran off together somewhere safe.

The phone stopped and moments later the sounds of chanting echoed through the tired halls. Bella held her breath and clutched Edward's hand. The first pane of glass breaking signaled war. The battle raged on downstairs while the two rulers sat and listened, holding each other with everything they had.

Time was kept by the ticking of a clock, and fifteen minutes later the sounds of footsteps were moving closer. Edward stood, grabbed a dagger meant for opening letters and handed it to her. He took a larger version and opened the door as the steps stopped outside it.

Edward struck but Bella did not see. There were grunts and death gurgles but she was focused on the sunset. He turned around toward, his eyes wary and brow lowered in sadness. Her breath hitched as a dirty man in overalls stood behind Edward, a scythe in hand like the Grim Reaper.

He struck and Bella closed her eyes tightly. She threw herself forward and stabbed the man through the throat. Edward rolled on the floor, surely dead.

She looked at his still form, eyes too blurry to make out where the damage had been done. She ran from him and sent a prayer to heaven in hopes of saving his poor soul. A back door was open and she fled through it into a cellar. A beam of light hit the floor and she moved through it into the cool fall evening.

Bella began to breathe heavily, panting really. In her mind she recognized it as panic and fear. There was a trail of leaves leading from the cellar to the forest and she ran along it, tears streaming down her face.

Alice was hiding behind a tree; she immediately jumped out at her and wrapped her arms securely around Bella's waist.

"Jasper and I are leaving," Alice whispered. "Is Edward…?"

"Yes," she sighed sadly. "He's… gone. We need to leave, I'm sure there are more."

Alice pulled her along until they met Jasper at the main road with a carriage of four horses. He smiled sadly at her and she did the same. Rebellion was nice while it happened, but her survival was imperative.

* * *

**A/N: This poem was from her first published poetry book, _Caught Screaming_. Since first releasing that to the public she wrote a second, _Little Sins_, both are available for a fair price on LuLu (dot) com, just type in Otep in the search bar. That easy.**

**Don't forget to review!**


End file.
